Eindelijk een sociaal netwerk waarbij je geen moeite hoeft te doen om vanaf het begin heel veel vrienden te hebben: nclüdr. Of zoals ze zelf zeggen: nclüdr is the social network where everyone and everything is your friend.

En alsof dat nog niet duidelijk genoeg is wordt het verschil tussen een ‘gewoon’ sociaal netwerk en nclüdr ook nog eens in beeld gebracht:

Voor al die verzamelaars in Linkedin: dit is het netwerk waar je lid van moet zijn. En ook daar heeft nclüdr een tekst voor:

You’re already part of nclüdr, so why not become a member?

Voor wie nog niet door heeft dat dit een hoax is, geef ik hieronder de volledige “About us” sectie van deze site weer, die als een FAQ is geschreven. Hilarisch!

What happens if someone rejects my friend request? I have a such a hard time with rejection.
You really don’t get it, do you? You’ll never be rejected. Everyone will love you. You’re thin and fabulous. Have you tried Lithium?

I have this uncanny ability to see things. Dead people. It’s important that they all be part of my network. Will the nclüdr allow that?
Absofreakinlutely. The entire universe—seen and unseen—is at your disposal.

I just know one of my lovers from a past life is going to want to contact me. Very unstable woman. I’ll be able to block her, won’t I?
No. Here, everyone and everything is your friend. Even unstable past life hotties. Deal with it.

I have the most delightful family of mice living in my basement. May I invite them to join my nclüdr community?
They’re already part of your community, friend. Along with the not-so-delightful bully who kicked the shit out of you in 7th grade.

I adore nclüdr and I want the world to know it. Do you s
No. But we really like the thong idea.

Is there a God?
Been reading Nietzsche again? Damn straight there’s a God. And nclüdr gives you direct access to him/her/it/them.

Does the site go down often?
Do you? What kind of dumbass question is that? This site never goes down. Never.

Is Elvis in the house?
You bet your blue suede shoes, baby.

I would like to apply for a job with nclüdr. How do I go about it?
Thanks for your interest but we only hire family.

You seem to have such disdain for other social marketing phenoms like MySpace and Facebook. What makes you think you’re better than they are?
Because we crush them, then pee on them.